Should everyone be involved? We have children of two differetn age groups - a coupole of teenagers and some early primary school aged kids?

You have a couple of of options when you have children of two varying age groups. You can continue battling along with the whole gang. That is the ideal but I am not sure it is wise as basically the whole process is falling down as two don't want to be there. You mention that your two nearly to be teenagers are a little cynical about the whole thing and you have two early primary aged- kids who are interested in the meetings. SO it maybe better to let the older kids pass on the meetings and focus on your younger kids.

BUT I would run something with them. Perhaps meet less regularly or have them come to the whole family meeting less regularly. You need to be careful that one or two kids aren't alienated. There is nothing wrong with having two sets of meetings happening. My hunch is to give this a try - two differently run meetings but you do need a time when the whole gang gets together. Perhaps this can be mealtime!

what happens when the game at the end of the meeting deteriorates into a fight as kids are too competitive?

Competitive kids! Some children are more competitive thanothers by nature. Just walking to the car can turn into a competition -'Race ya'.

If the game ends in a fight at the end of your meeting then perhaps abandon the game and don't let it spoil the an effective meeting.

Generally kids need plenty of opportunities to play alongside each other and learn to win and lose well.

Talk about how does a good winner and good loser act.

My own kids were fairly competitive so I used to 'do games slowly with them'. In other, short and sharp and stop before they start to fight.

Exasperating stuff though and can be slow going.

The kids don't really like the finishing activity. Do I have to have them?

NO! Don't make hard work of this process. maybe have a fun finishing activity every second or fourth one. You want kids to maintain their enthusiasm and if finishing is no fun then don't do it just because the you feel you have to.

I have a roster but I still need to remind the kids!!

This is frustrating. Here are some quick ideas.

If it involves them then don't remind - act. e.g if a child doesn't set the table then you don't serve the meal.

Remind kids each morning to check the roster for their jobs that day.

Encourage kids to remind each other. This can lead to more fights so be careful with this!

Let natural consequences work - i.e let kids see what happens when they don't pull their weight. This only works with jobs that actually affect them.


Please add some ideas that work for you.

What are the age limits for joining in a family roundtable?

Perhaps around five is the best age. Even then don't expect your youngest at five to siat around for as long as the others. Maybe he or she can read, play quietly or draw while the others are meeting.

My kids are chatty. Do we put a time limit on responses?

The idea is for kids to stick to the point so as the chairperson keep th ekids moving and don't let them ramble on. Save that for after the meeting. Ask them to laser their answer - this is a good cue for kids to 'get to the point.'

How do we introduce a roster system for jobs and what about pocket money?

First, it's important to separate pocket-money and chores. Allocate pocket-money as kids' share of your family wealth. Maybe half a dollar per year and let kids know what they have to spend it on.

For jobs put the 3 or 4 main chores - that help others - up for kids to do each day. Kids can choose whether to keep same jobs for the week or rotate daily. Let kids know that you may require them to do jobs that aren't rostered - we help each other is the idea here.